In Marriage Simple Things Matter
“Til death do us part” are the words couples use in committing their lives to each other. Why do some couples live happily ever after, while others painfully end their marriage in divorce? This is the question we began researching more than 37 years ago.
We continually remind others that the divorce rate in America is 35-40%, not the oft-reported 50%. Still, the divorce rate is too high by any measure. But the news gets worse. Close to two-thirds of those who get remarried get divorced again! And 75% of those who marry for the third time get divorced. And the simple truth is, most all of this suffering and unhappiness could be avoided. Yes, avoided! How, you say? Well, successfully married couples can tell you. They know!
That is why we have committed our lives to increasing the success rate of marriage by sharing what we have learned from decades of research and our own 52 years of marriage—most marriages are worth saving and can be saved!!
The Art of Staying Together
This is a book about couples, romance, significant others, marriage, spouses, spouse equivalents, friends, mates, lovers, and last, but not least, relationships. It’s about living together, fulfilling your own needs, fulfilling each other’s needs, and even gaining the wisdom to see when moving on may be in your best interest. If the latter becomes your choice, I will help you to break away.
As a psychologist who’s worked with couples for nearly two decades, I’ve been through the joy and the heartbreak of involvement with many many people. As a man who’s been married and divorced and who is now in a happy second marriage, much of what I am going to tell you also comes from my own life experiences.
Secrets of Sexual Ecstasy
You and your partner have everything you need to experience sexual ecstasy to the max if you both desire it and are willing to work and play together to create it. This book will show you just how to get to that wonderful place called sexual ecstasy. And if you haven’t been able to experience it by the time you’ve finished this book, you’ll know exactly why and what you can do about it.
No one definition of sexual ecstasy can apply to everyone, since sexual ecstasy is, in reality, as unique as your fingerprint. The purpose of this book is to help you define what ecstasy is for you in your present relationship, and then to help you and your partner experience it as often as you want to.
Making Magnificent Marriages
Mediocre, mundane, and monotonous marriages are miserable are miserable. But no marriage relationship starts off that way. Normally, most couples fall deeply in love and launch into a wonderfully romantic, naively blissful, and fairytale-like dream of living happily ever after. In the storybooks, the handsome prince in shining armor valiantly rescues the beautiful fair maiden from her distress and sweeps her off her feet into his strong arms. Then they gallop off into the sunset astride his white stress toward the faraway castle.
Yet somewhere along the way, for most couples, the honeymoon eventually comes to an unceremonious and unfulfilling end. The armor rusts (providing he can still squeeze into it!), the horse comes up lame, the utility bills for the castle are astronomical, and the beautiful maiden? Well, let’s just say that time and gravity inevitably exert an unfortunate and unintended effect upon her physical appearance. Needs get neglected, dreams are dashed, hearts become hardened, and thus love seems lost.
How to Marry The Right Guy
Did you ever wonder why some women find the perfect guy to marry, do so, and enjoy a love affair that lasts a lifetime? On the other hand, some women marry a guy that is wrong for them now, wrong for them tomorrow, and wrong for them for a lifetime? What’s the difference? Why do some women succeed at love and marriage when others fail?
One of our mentors, Don Clifton, the former CEO of the world renowned Gallup Organization (rest his soul), often reminded us of the power of “pervasive personality characteristics.” Don defined “pervasive” as, “a recurring pattern of thought and behavior.” In other words, these are the personality characteristics that a human being develops within the first two decades of life that, for the most part, defines who they are for a lifetime. Don believed that you are what you are by the time you become an adult. Changing who and what you are becomes nearly impossible after that.
Can Your Relationship Be Saved?
The title of this book, Can Your Relationship Be Saved? captures one of the most commonly explored issues that I have dealt with in my office over the past three decades as a practicing clinical psychologist. In addition to being so common a question, it has also been an extraordinarily complex one for scores of individuals and couples who have consulted with me over the years. Hopefully, this book will break it down in a way that you will find empowers you to quickly get beyond the murkiness, and toward a resolution of all the issues involved.