10 easy tips for fair fighting will simplify and calm the way you respond to conflict. Having a few ready-made tools can improve your success in navigating those dreaded heated moments with your partner. Being mindful, factual, and empathic are just a few of the basic skills that deescalate potentially problematic interactions. It’s never too […]
Arguments as Opportunities for Intimacy and Empathy in Your Relationship
Many couples find themselves repeating the same fight. The patterns become habitual and ineffective ways of meeting needs and resolving conflict. But what if couples hit the pause button and first determined their goal? Before responding to your partner consider this, “What is most important to me? Is it the quality of this relationship or […]
Transition to the Five-to-One Ratio
The following is from the book “Fire Up Your Communication Skills” (ISBN 09657620-6- 8) by Fire “Captain Bob” Smith. He is a recognized expert and speaker/author on stress, communication and relationship skills. He is a humorist, coach, entrepreneur and frequent talk show guest. He also produces customized presentations for career and personal growth. To book […]
Bids for Emotional Connection in Couples Therapy by Dr. Dan Wile, PhD, danwile.com
Intro by Gary Krane The following brilliant essay is by Dr. Dan Wile, a therapist whom the eminent Dr. John Gottman calls, “a genius and the greatest living marital therapist [in America].” The essay is a highly sophisticated analysis of what Gottman calls “Bids,” or what we at couplewise.com know as actions that meet our […]
What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage – by Amy Sutherland, New York Times
What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage By AMY SUTHERLAND New York Times As I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated. “Have you seen my keys?” he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, at his heels, anxious […]
New Study on Empathy in Relationships
By Sharon Jackson “Men like to know when their wife or girlfriend is happy while women really want the man in their life to know when they are upset,” according to a new study published by the American Psychological Association. The article titled, “Women Happier in Relationships When Men Feel Their Pain,” “The study involved […]
Motivating Your Partner to Improve the Relationship
By J. D. Peterson and Gary Krane So your relationship isn’t perfect—that’s good! If you thought it was perfect, you’d either be in denial, or putting way too much pressure on your mate, or maybe you’re just unaware of your partner’s dark side (we’ve all got one). Still, you think it could be better (and maybe […]
